Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #7

Who in the world thinks that a 3-2 outing is something to be proud of? The Converter does, apparently. And I guess this should come as no surprise; 3-2 is NCAAFConverter's high water mark for the entire season to date! Keep it up, Converter; you can lord your mediocrity all the way to the scrap heap at the end of the season, if that's what you want.

So let's go - What do you have for us this week, Converter?

1.  Missouri - Georgia (8 point undertiger Mizzou worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Tiger's got your tail.

It appears this playful tiger cub has grown too big to worry much about that bulldog. But if The Converter is predicting a win by Mizzou, I will respectfully disagree. UGA for the win. You can keep your shiny bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville.



2.  South Carolina - Arkansas (6 point underhog worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Chicken in the driver's seat.

This time, The Converter's going with the favorite, but I once again disagree; the underhog is ready to show he has learned much over the last three losses. Arky for the win.

3.  Florida - LSU (7 point undergator Florida worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : More than one predator in the swamp.

I agree with The Converter on this one; LSU for the win.

4.  Michigan - Penn State (Michigan by 2)
     NCAAFConverter : Wolverine pinned down.

Looks like the mountain lion has the jump on the wolverine.  Penn State for the win.
5.  Oregon State - Washington State (Washington State by 1)
     NCAAFConverter : [self-explanatory]

Agree with NCAAFConverter - Oregon State for the win.
 

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #6

So here's the deal - NCAAFConverter picked exactly five winners over the course of the last three weeks. Every player may get a trophy in youth soccer but until Chinese overseas manufacturing figures out how to mass produce the Ramon Escobar Trophy, this kind of perfomance is absolutely unacceptable. NCAAFConverter has been put on notice; either the picks improve, or extreme repurposing may be in order (I'm considering relegating The Converter for duty as a patriotic clip art image sorter for Tea Party websites (American flag images in this folder, U.S. Constitution images in that folder, Founding Father images over there, and special subfolders for any of the above images that also depict Glenn Beck in heroic poses)).

Thusly put on notice, The Converter turns in the following picks:

1.  UCLA - Utah (UCLA by 4)
     NCAAFConverter : Unfortunate stereotyping still sells.

 

[Program note - It's a special kind of sadness you feel when posting a Poolsville pick the morning after the picked team (Utah for the win) lost. At this point, The Converter is flirting with danger, and not in a good way]

2.  Ole Miss - Auburn (Ole Miss by 2)
     NCAAFConverter : Bear pinned by vicious tigers.

Great match-up of former ASU head coaches here. Hugh Freeze may be doing great things for Ole Miss but The Converter believes the Black Bears are in hot water this week. Looks like this one goes to Gus. Auburn for the win.

3.  Arizona State - Notre Dame (5 point underdome Notre Dame worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Ugly loss for the Leprechaun.

Quality control is sorely lacking in The Converter's submission; it if manages to make it through the season (thereby outperforming Lane Kiffin, at least), adjustments will be in order. But the message is clear here; the Sun Devils have the upper hand. Arizona State for the win.

4.  Ohio State - Northwestern (5 point undercat Northwestern worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : What in the world?

  I have no idea where The Converter found this image, or what sports team or school or organization or even species is supported here! The tea leaves are murky, so we'll go with alphabetical order on this one. Ohio State for the win. You can keep your shiny bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville.

5.  Washington - Stanford (6 point underhusky worth a bonus point).
     NCAAFConverter : What in the world?

What a happy husky! It's like he doesn't even know The Cardinal is messing with him. Stanford for the win. You can keep your shiny bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville.

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #5

Coming off a moderately less disappointing 3-2 week, on the heels of a horrendous 1-4, The Converter's feeling pretty good these days. The good kind of good, almost feeling like 4-0 good but hey, 3-1 isn't bad, especially after what is arguably a strong showing, almost a moral victory, a first foray in decades to the East Coast, against Rutgers, RUTGERS (!), which sounds like a college football powerhouse back in the days when they played in leather helmets. Yeah, that's how NCAAFConverter is feeling today, ready to go, ready for an SEC-caliber match-up against another 3-1 opponent. So let's go, let's get on to Week 5.

1.  LSU - Georgia (Georgia by 3).

     NCAAFConverter : Only fun for one.

 

You'd be interested to know how many pictures there are on the Internet of tiger cubs playfully playing with bulldogs (although strangely, perhaps, they are almost always French bulldogs, not the English variety). What heartwarming stories, these animal friendships reaching across the species boundary. But somehow, to me at least, it always seems as if one of the playmates enjoys the romp slightly less than the other. And that's how The Converter's calling it this week - Mark Richt is undeservedly under back under the coaching heat lamp as LSU pulls off the win.

2.  Oklahoma - Notre Dame (Oklahoma by 3).
     NCAAFConverter : Sooner apparel store FAIL.

 

I was certainly leaning toward The Figthing Irish for the win until The Converter retrieved this gem from an www.ou.edu online store. The appropriate question, to the state of Oklahoma (even to OSU?), is WTF? You would let your campus store sell this? Apparel FAIL in Norman; it'll be ND for the win.

3.  Texas A&M - Arkansas (no line; wild card points in effect).
     NCAAFConverter : Did someone say bacon?

I know, The Mayor of Poolsville has since powered through the cowardice of Vegas, set the line at 14 and elected to award a quarter-dozen bonus points for an Arkie win. And you know what? I think the Hog there looks pretty much at home next to The 12th Man's cute dog. The Converter will take the U of A for the upset win of the season.

4.  Wisconsin - Ohio State (7 point underbrock Wiscy worth a bonus point).
     NCAAFConverter : 40% off any one regular price item at Michaels?

If you are crafty in the ways of The Converter, you recognize a picture of a badger brush in a buckye burl when you see one. And while I see what I am seeing, I don't understand it any more than you do. That's why it's clear that The Converter's calling for a UW win. I will take that bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville.

5.  USC - Arizona State (5 point underwarrior USC worth a bonus point).
     NCAAFConverter : Advantage trident.

 

Hands down, NCAAFConverter's level of difficulty with this match-up was off the charts. Search for "Trojan-devil" images? "Greek-devil"?  how about "Trojan-trident" - and there you have it - don't end up on the business end of a trident, even if you are a Greek warrior. ASU for the win (keep your bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville!). 
 
#5-0.

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #4

WORST WEEK IN THE HISTORY OF NCAAFCONVERTER! I'd rather go 1-4 every week than re-pick crappy matchups such as these.

1.  North Carolina - Georgia Tech (6 point underdog UNC worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter :  Ramblin Wreck goes off-road.

Pavement not needed. Georgia Tech for the win.

2.  Utah State - USC (6 point underdog Utah State worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Trojan bull.

 Who even knew the Aggies had a bull as their mascot? Irregardless, it's USC for the win.

3.  Michigan State - Notre Dame (6 point underdog Michigan State worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Greece races Ireland for the lead in the Euro crisis.

A made up encounter for an ancient made up encounter. Advantage SPARTY; Michigan State for the win.

4.  Arizona State - Stanford (7 point underdog Arizona State worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Devil bird.

 

It is what it is; there is a three-horned cardinal bird somewhere out there in the southwestern desert, apparently drinking a vodka tonic out of a very fru fru glass. The Converter calls STANFORD for the win.

5.  Kansas State - Texas (6 point underdog Kansas State worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Follow me! Oh, wait, and SNAP! You're in a pen! 

Snappy Wildcat is a bitch taunting Bevo like this. Maybe it's because even a struggling KSU owns Austin. KSU for the win! (Bonus predictive trivia - will Texas be favored to win in each of its losses this year? All signs point to YES!)

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #3

In the NCAAFConverter's defense, there can be no shame in going 2-3 or even 1-4 this week; I should have checked The Converter's vital fluids before the season began. I didn't pop the hood until just yesterday and what do you know; the bombast tank was bone-dry. Ordinarily, it takes at least a week to repressurize the bombast system; shame on me for topping it off and firing it up like it was a rental (this won;t be good for the long term life of the machine).

1.  TCU - Texas Tech (TCU by 3)
     NCAAFConverter : Armageddon on the high plains

Sadly, I was off gathering lint at kickoff: I sent in my weekly picks sometime in the first half, prior to carefully studying the preliminary results from The Converter (I "officially" picked TCU). But even a casual glance at the ticker tape would have told me The Converter knew the fix was in for Texas Tech. (As an aside, last winter, I had the privilege of touching down in Lubbock for the first time ever on a one-stop flight to Las Vegas. All I ever saw from the window of my SWA 737 was a trailer park connected to the airport by a dusty road, with an interstate headed off to the north, presumably to whatever passes for civilization in this godforsaken part of the world. Maybe that WAS Lubbock?)

2.  UCLA - Nebraska (Nebraska by 4)
     NCAAFConverter : Bear Corn?

Frank admission - The Converter pulled this image from the archives; the Mayor of Poolsville must have picked this match-up in a prior year. How can that be, can Nebraska-UCLA be a compelling match-up from year to year? All that can be said is "bear corn". NEBRASKA for the win.

3.  Alabama - Texas A&M (7 point underdog TAMU worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : surf's up

 I get it, NCAAFConverter; that's a collie dog, the water represents a tide or something, whatever, whatever! TAMU for the win in The Game of the Century (2013 Edition), and I will gladly take that bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville.

4.  Ole Miss - Texas (Texas by 3)
     NCAAFConverter :  cattle rustler

It is easier to believe that Ole Miss's mascot is a black bear than it is to believe UT will win this game against a Hug Freeze-led team of heroes. UM for the win.

5.  Wisconsin - Arizona State (5 point underdog Wiscy worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : badger smackdown

 

 NCAAFConverter has shut down for the night; as best I can tell, it's WISCONSIN for the win.

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #2

Over at Poolsville, NCAAFConverter's Week 1 performance was an underwhelming 3-2 (6 points), which is a true disappointment when one considers that for the entire off-season, The Converter subsisted on a strict and carefully calibrated diet of nothing but boiled peanuts and Southern Comfort (but come to think of it, this "power diet" was in fact designed by The Converter itself, which brings The Converter's 2013 prospects somewhat into question. But who am I to second guess the genius of the machine? For the last 30 minutes, lights have been going off and the beeping has risen an octave; let's see if NCAAFConverter finds redemption in Week 2.   

1.   Florida - Miami (UF is favored to win The Florida Cup by 3)
      NCAAFConverter : Gators make the most of hurricane.

While the Hurricanes appear to be headed back to prominence in college football, they're not quite there yet, and in the meantime, the Gators take advantage of opportunity and strut around like they own the place. FLORIDA for the win.

2.   South Carolina - Georgia (UGA favored by 3)
      NCAAFConverter : Mark Richt has slept like a baby all week.

Coming off a loss to Clemson, USC's country cousin from the hills, you would think that Richt has the weight of the world on his shoulders. But you would be wrong. He's been on the coach's hot seat for far too long to feel the heat any more; Richt will just do what he does best, put his head down, work hard, and WIN*. I'm glad The Converter overrode its preliminary pick ("Brown Chicken") and ended up with GEORGIA for the win.
* Most, but not all, of the time.
3.   Texas - BYU (7 point underdog Cougars worth a lousy bonus point).
      NCAAFConverter : Equally ridiculous.

That's right, for the second week in a row, The Converter calls it even odds (or maybe they'll go for the tie? What is this, a soccer pick?). But if The Converter's preliminary pick ("Brown Cow") is of any assistance, then I'll have to go with TEXAS for the win. Enjoy the cold comfort of a close victory over BYU, all you Mack Brown haters*.
* And your hate will find firmer footing later in the season.

4.   Arkansas State - Auburn (outmatched 12 point underdog A-State worth two bonus points)
      NCAAFConverter : Wolf treats.

Coming off two consecutive seasons with SEC caliber coaching, A-State may have hit the jackpot three times in a row with the Bryan Harsin hire, but in the meantime, The Falconer Gus Malzahn stands ready to exploit the weaknesses of the very players he recruited but a year ago. ASU may be a crown jewel of The Sunbelt and the Mid-South but tomorrow, The Converter sees nothing but talons in the Red Wolves' immediate future. AUBURN for the win.

5.   Notre Dame - Michigan (Michigan by 4)
      NCAAFConverter : Your move, Blue.

This game will be an epic battle, one for the ages, never before seen in the comprehensive history of college football. To the casual observer, this game appears to be another toss-up. But while gorging on those boiled peanuts and fine southern spirits, The Converter busied itself playing correspondence chess with a Russian supercomputer deep in the heart of Vladimir Putin's Kremlin. Four moves in and The Converter can already see the endgame - GO BLUE for the win.

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #1

The 2013 college football season is finally here, and the NCAAFConverter is ready! Well, as ready as it will ever be. The Converter is coming off a four month contract with Boeing working on a "border control" project down around Douglas, Arizona; I've been told not to ask too many questions but if you ask me, something about the whole deal feels wrong. Wheelbarrows full of cash, black SUVs with tinted windows like they are going out of style, and NCAAFConverter texting with its mainframe buddies like it just don't care about exceeding the monthly limit.

But enough about that! The Converter is tanned, rested and ready for the 2013 campaign. Here we go!

1.   Ole Miss - Vanderbilt (Ole Miss by 3)
      NCAAFConverter : The Commodore is in the house.

Yes, I know what maybe one or two of you are thinking - hey, the Ole Miss mascot is a black bear, that that bear's white! That looks ridiculous, and the commodore get-up makes it worse. And there's your nugget of truth - The 'Dores are running this show.  VANDY for the win.

2.    Mississippi State - Oklahoma State (OSU by 12; underDAWGS worth four bonus points)
       NCAAFConverter : Ride 'em, Cowboy!

Yes, I know that's a French bulldog, not an English bulldog, but the Converter has the wide view here - it's POKIES for the the win! You can keep your stinking bonus points, O Mayor of Poolsville.

3.    Georgia - Clemson (Georgia by 2)
       NCAAFConverter : So gosh darn cute!

It's an undeniably sweet scene, a baby tiger (I assume Clemson's mascot is a Siberian tiger) fully bonding with that sweet-looking dog (is it a bulldog? who the hell knows. The Converter keeps spitting out a ticket that says "close enough for government work"). But it doesn't take a DARPA pet project to see where this is going in a few years - when tiger is a little older, look out, dog! Clemson for the win.

4.    LSU - TCU (LSU by 4)
       NCAAFConverter : Tiger Bait.

It is doubtful that The Converter was introduced to the delicacy of frog legs while down Mexico way on border patrol, but either one of those Minuteman volunteers ran his mouth off at the campfire over a tall glass of sweet tea, or perhaps it is self-evident that that amphibian makes for a tasty tiger treat.  LSU for the win!

5.    Boise State - Washington (Washington by 3)
       NCAAFConverter : Dealer's choice.

I must admit, The Converter totally shut down after coming across an entire website dedicated to pictures of huskies and horses together. Really? When did this become a thing? Apparently, NCAAFConverter has now turned its attention to next week's games so I'm on my own here. I call it BSU for the win!

Bye, bye!