Poolsville Picks, Week of Bitter Ends

The ashes were cold. Some blackened pots stood about. He squatted on his heels and picked one up and smelled it and put it back. He stood and looked out the window. Gray trampled grass. Gray snow. He held the boy's hand and they went down a narrow black hallway into the kitchen. Trash piled up everywhere. A ruststained sink. Smell of mold and excrement.

1.  The Iron Bowl - Alabama - Auburn (11 point undereagle worth two bonus points)
     NCAAFConverter : It's the trees. They're falling down.

The snow fell nor did it cease to fall. He woke all night and got up and coaxed the fire to light again. He looked at the boy's face sleeping in the orange light. The sunken cheeks streaked with black. He fought back the rage. Useless. The snow whispered down in the stillness and the sparks rose and dimmed and died in the eternal blackness.  Bama for the win. You can keep your shiny bonus points O Mayor of Poolsville.

2.  Clean, Old-Fashioned Hate Georgia - Georgia Tech (UGA by three)
     NCAAFConverther : The motor sounded ropey. Missing and puttering. Then it quit.

They moved on east through the standing dead trees. They passed am old frame house and crossed a dirt road. A cleared plot of ground perhaps once a truckgarden. Stopping from time to time to listen. The unseen sun cast no shadow. They came upon the road unexpectedy and he stopped the boy with one hand and they crouched in the roadside ditch like lepers and listened. No wind. Dead silence. After a while he rose and walked out into the road. Come on, he said.The boy came out and the man pointed out the tracks in the ash where the truck had gone.UGA for the win. Richt will save the final disappointing loss for Georgia's bowl game.

3.  The Palmetto Bowl - Clemson - South Carolina (5 point undertiger worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : He could see the disappointment in his face.

He could see open country to the east and the air was different.Then they came upon it from a turn in the road and they stopped and stood with the salt wind blowing in their hair where they'd lowered the hoods of their coats to listen. Out there was the gray beach with the skow combers rolling dull and leaden and the distant sound of it. Like the desolation of some alien sea breaking on the shores of a world unheard of. Out on the tidal flats lay a tanker half careened. Beyond that the ocean vast and cold and shifting heavily like a slowly heaving vat of slag and then the gray squall line of ash. What began with such promise against Georgia ends dully with an in-state loss; Carolina for the win.

4.  Texas A&M - Missouri (Tigers by four)
     NCAAFConverter : Is the night going to catch us? I don't know.

He got up and walked out to the road. The black shape of it running from dark to dark. Then a distant low rumble. Not thunder. You could feel it under your feet. A sound without cognate and so without description. The earth itself contracting with the cold. It did not come again. Mizzou for the win.

5.  Battle for Los Angeles - UCLA - USC (USC by three).
NCAAFConverter : I think I want to say goodbye to him.

And I won't forget. No matter what.

Once there were brook trout in the streams in the mountains. On their backs were vermiculate patterns that were maps of the world in its beginning. Maps and mazes. Of a thing which could not be put back. Not be made right again. USC for the win.

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #9

A day late, a dollar short, The Converter has a bye week this week, leaving me to do this by myself. So here goes:

1.  Boise State - BYU (7 point underbronco BSU worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Classic Bronco leads.

Even though I'm calling it with perfect 20/20 (or, rather, 37/20) hindsight, it's hard to see how BYU loses this one. BSU for the win.

2.  Texas Tech - Oklahoma (7 point underraider worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Raiders know the good stuff is in the wagon. 

Put your hat back on, red raider; your politeness has just cost you the game. OU for the win.
3.  South Carolina - Missouri
     NCAAFConverter : Parts is parts.

There won't be much to put back together after Missouri is done with Carolina (even though the Gamecocks will still score TWICE on the Razorbacks this Saturday). Mizzou for the win.

4.  Texas - TCU
     NCAAFConverter : Frog follower.

Well, the picture will not load. No matter; it was not a good one. Not much good at all. About as good as a 7-5 record (7-6 after losing its crappy bowl game). Where is the unhappiness quotient higher, Ft. Worth, or Austin? UT for the win! Mack Brown, you can keep your resume in your desk for another season!

5.  Stanford - Oregon State
     NCAAFConverter : WTF?

Uh, not that kind of cardinal. And not that kind of beaver. Stanford for the win.

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #8

You would not believe NCAAFConverter is coming of its first 5-0 of the year. And that's because I picked against the machine in not one game (went for Arky instead of Carolina) but two (chose Georgia over Missouri). I always experience a frisson of thrill when hitting "send" on any email submitting upset pics (last week, Arkansas); watching Mizzou grab the upset ring makes the failed upset pick all that more depressing.

So this week, I'll stand back and let The Converter pick all five games without operator interference. Here we go:

1.  TCU - Oklahoma State (7 point underfrog TCU worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : You look ridiculous in that hat.

TCU's performance seems to have fallen off to a slight degree this year; maybe it is taking time to adjust to BCS conference play. And from The Converter's call on this one, it seems like TCU is still making adjustments to fit. This one looks a little tight, and the color does not suit the frog. OSU for the win; you can keep your bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville.

2.  Florida - Missouri (UF by 3) 
     NCAAFConverter : You should turn around now.

Yes, I know Missouri just lost its star quarterback but with Florida coming off a loss to LSU and a not particularly impressive win over a disappointing Arkansas, I'm not sure the Gators have enough in the tank to get the job done. So I'm letting The Converter run with this one as well; Mizzou for the win.

3.  UCLA - Stanford (5 point underbear worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Bear Air.

I will never pretend to understand what goes on in the Pac-12 or West Coast football in general. I'm always happy to see USC lose and I'll always be amazed at the quality of football in Oregon. Other than that, I'm inclined to once again rely on The Converter. UCLA for the win; gimme that bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville.

4.  USC - Notre Dame (ND by 3)
     NCAAFConverter : How did he get up there?

I'm surprised at the narrow three-point spread; seems like Notre Dame should be the stronger favorite. Is it that bad for USC that firing Kiffin mid-season has actually improved their outlook this much? But apparently, not enough to throw that leprechaun off the back of the Trojan horse; Notre Dame for the win.

5.  Florida State - Clemson (FSU by 3)
     NCAAFConverter : That cat is just messing with you now, Chief Osceola.

 

Clemson has looked good from the very start of the season and I haven't seen anything yet that would change my opinion. Glad that The Converter agrees. Clemson for the win.

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #7

Who in the world thinks that a 3-2 outing is something to be proud of? The Converter does, apparently. And I guess this should come as no surprise; 3-2 is NCAAFConverter's high water mark for the entire season to date! Keep it up, Converter; you can lord your mediocrity all the way to the scrap heap at the end of the season, if that's what you want.

So let's go - What do you have for us this week, Converter?

1.  Missouri - Georgia (8 point undertiger Mizzou worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Tiger's got your tail.

It appears this playful tiger cub has grown too big to worry much about that bulldog. But if The Converter is predicting a win by Mizzou, I will respectfully disagree. UGA for the win. You can keep your shiny bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville.



2.  South Carolina - Arkansas (6 point underhog worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Chicken in the driver's seat.

This time, The Converter's going with the favorite, but I once again disagree; the underhog is ready to show he has learned much over the last three losses. Arky for the win.

3.  Florida - LSU (7 point undergator Florida worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : More than one predator in the swamp.

I agree with The Converter on this one; LSU for the win.

4.  Michigan - Penn State (Michigan by 2)
     NCAAFConverter : Wolverine pinned down.

Looks like the mountain lion has the jump on the wolverine.  Penn State for the win.
5.  Oregon State - Washington State (Washington State by 1)
     NCAAFConverter : [self-explanatory]

Agree with NCAAFConverter - Oregon State for the win.
 

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #6

So here's the deal - NCAAFConverter picked exactly five winners over the course of the last three weeks. Every player may get a trophy in youth soccer but until Chinese overseas manufacturing figures out how to mass produce the Ramon Escobar Trophy, this kind of perfomance is absolutely unacceptable. NCAAFConverter has been put on notice; either the picks improve, or extreme repurposing may be in order (I'm considering relegating The Converter for duty as a patriotic clip art image sorter for Tea Party websites (American flag images in this folder, U.S. Constitution images in that folder, Founding Father images over there, and special subfolders for any of the above images that also depict Glenn Beck in heroic poses)).

Thusly put on notice, The Converter turns in the following picks:

1.  UCLA - Utah (UCLA by 4)
     NCAAFConverter : Unfortunate stereotyping still sells.

 

[Program note - It's a special kind of sadness you feel when posting a Poolsville pick the morning after the picked team (Utah for the win) lost. At this point, The Converter is flirting with danger, and not in a good way]

2.  Ole Miss - Auburn (Ole Miss by 2)
     NCAAFConverter : Bear pinned by vicious tigers.

Great match-up of former ASU head coaches here. Hugh Freeze may be doing great things for Ole Miss but The Converter believes the Black Bears are in hot water this week. Looks like this one goes to Gus. Auburn for the win.

3.  Arizona State - Notre Dame (5 point underdome Notre Dame worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Ugly loss for the Leprechaun.

Quality control is sorely lacking in The Converter's submission; it if manages to make it through the season (thereby outperforming Lane Kiffin, at least), adjustments will be in order. But the message is clear here; the Sun Devils have the upper hand. Arizona State for the win.

4.  Ohio State - Northwestern (5 point undercat Northwestern worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : What in the world?

  I have no idea where The Converter found this image, or what sports team or school or organization or even species is supported here! The tea leaves are murky, so we'll go with alphabetical order on this one. Ohio State for the win. You can keep your shiny bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville.

5.  Washington - Stanford (6 point underhusky worth a bonus point).
     NCAAFConverter : What in the world?

What a happy husky! It's like he doesn't even know The Cardinal is messing with him. Stanford for the win. You can keep your shiny bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville.

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #5

Coming off a moderately less disappointing 3-2 week, on the heels of a horrendous 1-4, The Converter's feeling pretty good these days. The good kind of good, almost feeling like 4-0 good but hey, 3-1 isn't bad, especially after what is arguably a strong showing, almost a moral victory, a first foray in decades to the East Coast, against Rutgers, RUTGERS (!), which sounds like a college football powerhouse back in the days when they played in leather helmets. Yeah, that's how NCAAFConverter is feeling today, ready to go, ready for an SEC-caliber match-up against another 3-1 opponent. So let's go, let's get on to Week 5.

1.  LSU - Georgia (Georgia by 3).

     NCAAFConverter : Only fun for one.

 

You'd be interested to know how many pictures there are on the Internet of tiger cubs playfully playing with bulldogs (although strangely, perhaps, they are almost always French bulldogs, not the English variety). What heartwarming stories, these animal friendships reaching across the species boundary. But somehow, to me at least, it always seems as if one of the playmates enjoys the romp slightly less than the other. And that's how The Converter's calling it this week - Mark Richt is undeservedly under back under the coaching heat lamp as LSU pulls off the win.

2.  Oklahoma - Notre Dame (Oklahoma by 3).
     NCAAFConverter : Sooner apparel store FAIL.

 

I was certainly leaning toward The Figthing Irish for the win until The Converter retrieved this gem from an www.ou.edu online store. The appropriate question, to the state of Oklahoma (even to OSU?), is WTF? You would let your campus store sell this? Apparel FAIL in Norman; it'll be ND for the win.

3.  Texas A&M - Arkansas (no line; wild card points in effect).
     NCAAFConverter : Did someone say bacon?

I know, The Mayor of Poolsville has since powered through the cowardice of Vegas, set the line at 14 and elected to award a quarter-dozen bonus points for an Arkie win. And you know what? I think the Hog there looks pretty much at home next to The 12th Man's cute dog. The Converter will take the U of A for the upset win of the season.

4.  Wisconsin - Ohio State (7 point underbrock Wiscy worth a bonus point).
     NCAAFConverter : 40% off any one regular price item at Michaels?

If you are crafty in the ways of The Converter, you recognize a picture of a badger brush in a buckye burl when you see one. And while I see what I am seeing, I don't understand it any more than you do. That's why it's clear that The Converter's calling for a UW win. I will take that bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville.

5.  USC - Arizona State (5 point underwarrior USC worth a bonus point).
     NCAAFConverter : Advantage trident.

 

Hands down, NCAAFConverter's level of difficulty with this match-up was off the charts. Search for "Trojan-devil" images? "Greek-devil"?  how about "Trojan-trident" - and there you have it - don't end up on the business end of a trident, even if you are a Greek warrior. ASU for the win (keep your bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville!). 
 
#5-0.

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #4

WORST WEEK IN THE HISTORY OF NCAAFCONVERTER! I'd rather go 1-4 every week than re-pick crappy matchups such as these.

1.  North Carolina - Georgia Tech (6 point underdog UNC worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter :  Ramblin Wreck goes off-road.

Pavement not needed. Georgia Tech for the win.

2.  Utah State - USC (6 point underdog Utah State worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Trojan bull.

 Who even knew the Aggies had a bull as their mascot? Irregardless, it's USC for the win.

3.  Michigan State - Notre Dame (6 point underdog Michigan State worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Greece races Ireland for the lead in the Euro crisis.

A made up encounter for an ancient made up encounter. Advantage SPARTY; Michigan State for the win.

4.  Arizona State - Stanford (7 point underdog Arizona State worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Devil bird.

 

It is what it is; there is a three-horned cardinal bird somewhere out there in the southwestern desert, apparently drinking a vodka tonic out of a very fru fru glass. The Converter calls STANFORD for the win.

5.  Kansas State - Texas (6 point underdog Kansas State worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Follow me! Oh, wait, and SNAP! You're in a pen! 

Snappy Wildcat is a bitch taunting Bevo like this. Maybe it's because even a struggling KSU owns Austin. KSU for the win! (Bonus predictive trivia - will Texas be favored to win in each of its losses this year? All signs point to YES!)