Poolsville Picks - Week #5

Week 5 must be the worst week in college football. A dwindling number of undefeated teams lurch uneasily into the heart of the season, apprehensive that some also-ran will catch them napping. Many 3-1 teams (looking at you, USC) are trying to figure out how a season could feel like its over even before its fully begun. The 2-2's are regrouping, reminding themselves that a 10-2 season is still (outside chance) within their grasp. And finally, the 1-3's, you SunBelts and MACs, the C-USAs, are counting up the take on their money trips to Lincoln, to Eugene, to Gainsville, preparing for the beginning of their campaigns for Go Daddy Bowl glory. Or so this is how NCAAFConverter sees it - to me, it's just good-old college football.

The Converter has been subdued this week, coming, as it is, off a 2-3 showing. The swagger has been noticeably absent this week, which has been a good thing. In fact, The Converter's been busily sharpening pencils and jotting down cyphers pretty much non-stop since Monday (taking breaks only to watch The Daily Show and Thursday's SNL Weekend Update prime-time special). So it's on (that is to say, it is literally on, The Converter is switched to 'on') and here we go:

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1.  Baylor - West Virginia (12 pt underdog Baylor worth 2 bonus points)
NCAAFConverter : Do you have this in an extra-large?

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Oh, there are no burning couches for this mountaineer. And what relative comfort a burning couch would provide! No, this rugged American classic knows only the kind of hardship and deprivation that would make a Cormac McCarthy novel seem like "a happy place". The Baylor Bears may rule supreme in the land of Whataburger but in West F&#$in' Virginia, there's nothing but pain. WVU for the win, you can keep your bonus points.

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2,  Ohio State - Michigan State (Sparty by 3)
NCAAFConverter : A little flash of ankle will bring down even the mightiest

Apparently, The Converter stumbled across this original piece of art intended to celebrate the nuptial of a classic House Divided, the marriage of a MSU Spartan and an OSU Buckeye. But so much is left to wonder - what's that creature in the background? A Badger? Wolverine? And does Sparty, even for a second, stand a chance? Guys, you all know how this one's going to end; OSU for the win.

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3.  Tennessee - Georgia (13 point (dang, that's an Arky-sized spread!) underdog UT worth 3 bonus points)
NCAAFConverter : Rocky Top has been infiltrated

I would like to give The Converter credit and indeed, sing the machine's high praises 24-7, but that's kind of hard to do when I found out The Converter bogged down all day yesterday processing images of bulldog puppies at rescue shelters (The Converter's lame excuse was that "gosh they are just soo cute!"). But in amongst the sweetest of sweet ones was this one, UGA a/k/a David O. Dodd, infiltrating enemy lines, wreaking havoc on the boiled peanut supply line down to Knoxville. Wake Up, Volunteer Nation, the Derek Dooley hot seat's gonna be gettin' hotter. UGA for the win and you can keep your bevy of bonus points.

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4.  Texas Tech - Iowa State (Red Raiders by 2)
NCAAFConverter : Up, up and away!

Riders on the Storm

This is where I have to confess that The Converter suffers from a major programming glitch - NCAAFConverter does not know Iowa. At all. Iowa, Iowa State, maybe there is an Iowa Tech in there somewhere, and there's Grenell to factor in. Big 10 (12 members), Big 12 (10 members), and part of the state lies under the CFL's influence (I think). Maybe the Nebraska move to the Big 10 is the biggest confusing factor. But no matter, The Converter is afraid of what it does not understand, so it'll be ISU for the win (and west Texas wept).

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5.  Texas - Oklahoma State (Longhorns by 2)
NCAAFConverter : Too late to close the barn door now, Cowboy

 

In what would appear to be a season in which Mack Brown very subtly courts an HC offer from Jeff Long, The Converter calculates that the Longhorns will run away with this one (the machine is also banking on UT ending the season 8 - 4, with at least one more loss being just a bewilderment to its fans (KSU, your work here is done). Or what about you, Mike Gundy? If you are not going to get it done at OSU, maybe should you step aside for someone who will (and grab lunch with Jeff Long in the meantime)? Another UT win is what The Converter is calling - the remainder of the future is cloudy.

 

WPS!!