I originally composed this at a Gibbs PTA event, which means I did not have access to The Converter. At least I had time on my hands to focus on important things, like how can I could the record for number of consecutive 2-3 weeks! Thanks, A&M; I know it is not all on you but I single you out anyway.
***
Texas - Baylor
***
Mack Brown, how do you consistently underperform of late, and yet survive? Do you have dirt on certain members of the ut board of trustees? Is all forgiven so long as you beat A&M in uniquely devastating fashion? But the black arts are more powerful just up the road this year (just ask TCU); BAYLOR for the win.
***
Georgia - LSU
***
Things in the SEC West are pretty good these days. Three members end the season ranked in the top ten. Two will play for the national championship. And one team won a lifetime Unfathomable Tears of Sadness award. And State is about to have a twin sibling in everything from uni color to conference performance. No, Georgia, just be happy your coach pulled together an Outback Bowl (or comparable) season, SEC West division champ continues to roll. LSU for the win. And you can keep your UGA XIV-dropping-sized pile of bonus points.
***
Oklahoma - Oklahoma State
***
Oklahoma State can reach the promised land with one more win in a game against an in-state rival who is having an off-year. And if that in-state rival was named Tulsa, T. Boone Pickens would rejoice. But instead OSU's playing OU, and when it comes to the Sooners, OSU's historical performance says it all - fewer than 20 victories over a century's worth of games. Be glad you lost to Iowa State; you are already a rung down from the pinnacle of crushing defeat. OKLAHOMA for the win.
***
Wisconsin - Michigan State
***
Badgers, what happened? Back to back Hail Mary losses? Well, the Ohio State loss was not really a "toss up", you left the receiver wide open in the endzone. Gimme those bonus points because MICHIGAN STATE has this one. Get all this bad juju out of your system in 2011, UW; maybe there's a Sun Bowl in your immediate future.
***
Virginia Tech - Clemson
***
Clemson, really? You "dominate" USC from your cushy perch in the ACC? Too bad we could not have added you to the SEC East; Tennessee, Florida and Georgia would love to add you to their annual schedules. VIRGINIA TECH, those crazy Hokie bastards, win this one.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Week 12 - NCAAFConverter says....
It's been few weeks since the Converter felt like working; must be nice not to have the pressure to bring home a paycheck and feed the family on you. Good for you, Converter, but remember this is your Beta year; next year this s&#t gets real.
So here's what a very unmotivated Converter could come up with this week:
1. Nebraska - Michigan
NCAAFConverter says : NE-MI, or rather, Nemi, a young Goth girl in a Norweigan comic series.
I must say I did NOT see this coming, and I'll wager neither did Michigan. Fresh off a tough win at a hard game in Happy Valley, look to see the Cornhuskers tom continue cutting a swath through their new conference. What's that, Mike Sherman? You want Bo Pellini to call in sick the day of next year's Minnesota game so he can feed you secrets on the sideline? Good call; your reception in the SEC next year will be a harder experience. NEBRASKA for the win, please.
2. Cincinnati - Rutgers
NCAAFConverter says : The Situation calls for the Bearcat.
That's right, New Jersey's own The Situation calls for The Bearcat, one of law enforcement's finest weapons in the fight against, well, a Lebanese militia or a Mexican drug cartel. I'll take CINCY for the win; this Situation will be over just as soon as it begins.
3. Penn State - Ohio State
NCAAFConverter says : Hide the children
You can't make this stuff up. I will reluctantly take PENN STATE for the win.
4. South Florida - Miami
NCAAFConverter says : www.bullcanes.net
That's right, there is a puppy mill out there that cranks out pure bred English Bulldog puppies and this is the company's spokesdog. Amazing. Just like an ascendant USF, you never would have seen this before the dawn of the Internet. USF for the win.
5. Kansas State - Texas
NCAAFConvrter says : No 'horns in Manhattan
From your lips to God's ears, Converter; from your lips to God's ears. KSU for the win.
So here's what a very unmotivated Converter could come up with this week:
1. Nebraska - Michigan
NCAAFConverter says : NE-MI, or rather, Nemi, a young Goth girl in a Norweigan comic series.
I must say I did NOT see this coming, and I'll wager neither did Michigan. Fresh off a tough win at a hard game in Happy Valley, look to see the Cornhuskers tom continue cutting a swath through their new conference. What's that, Mike Sherman? You want Bo Pellini to call in sick the day of next year's Minnesota game so he can feed you secrets on the sideline? Good call; your reception in the SEC next year will be a harder experience. NEBRASKA for the win, please.
2. Cincinnati - Rutgers
NCAAFConverter says : The Situation calls for the Bearcat.
That's right, New Jersey's own The Situation calls for The Bearcat, one of law enforcement's finest weapons in the fight against, well, a Lebanese militia or a Mexican drug cartel. I'll take CINCY for the win; this Situation will be over just as soon as it begins.
3. Penn State - Ohio State
NCAAFConverter says : Hide the children
You can't make this stuff up. I will reluctantly take PENN STATE for the win.
4. South Florida - Miami
NCAAFConverter says : www.bullcanes.net
That's right, there is a puppy mill out there that cranks out pure bred English Bulldog puppies and this is the company's spokesdog. Amazing. Just like an ascendant USF, you never would have seen this before the dawn of the Internet. USF for the win.
5. Kansas State - Texas
NCAAFConvrter says : No 'horns in Manhattan
From your lips to God's ears, Converter; from your lips to God's ears. KSU for the win.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Week 8 - NCAAFConverter Says....
Is it the weekend yet? I've been working overtime on the Converter this week with little to show for it. But sometimes these things surprise us and the Converter will crank out a 5-0 selection. Let's pull the ripcord 
and see what happens:
1. Oklahoma State - Missouri (Mizzou worth three points)
NCAAFConverter : Poke the Tiger
Seems a clear signal to me that the Pokes are going to make Mizzou regret it even suggested joining the SEC when you can't even handle your current conference rivals? (Interesting tidbit, prior to 1923, OSU's mascot was a tiger, which was the inspiration for the school's orange and black color scheme.) So you can keep your shiny bonus point, I'll take OSU, thank you very much.
2. Georgia Tech - Miami
NCAAFConverter : Wrecked Hurricane
5. SMU - Southern Miss
and see what happens:1. Oklahoma State - Missouri (Mizzou worth three points)
NCAAFConverter : Poke the Tiger
Seems a clear signal to me that the Pokes are going to make Mizzou regret it even suggested joining the SEC when you can't even handle your current conference rivals? (Interesting tidbit, prior to 1923, OSU's mascot was a tiger, which was the inspiration for the school's orange and black color scheme.) So you can keep your shiny bonus point, I'll take OSU, thank you very much.
2. Georgia Tech - Miami
NCAAFConverter : Wrecked Hurricane
Seems pretty clear to me; Miami may be favored by three but my money's on GT this weekend. (And then, for bonus points, the Converter came up with this:
and this:
3. USC - Notre Dame (USC worth four points)
NCAAFConverter : Swashbuckling Leprechaun takes the horse.
Sorry, Kiffy, looks like Notre Dame has this one. Keep your shiny bonus points, thank you very much.
Sorry, Kiffy, looks like Notre Dame has this one. Keep your shiny bonus points, thank you very much.
4. Wisconsin - Michigan State (Sparty worth three points)
NCAAFConverter : [I did not see this coming]
So I'll take the Badgers for the win, please.
5. SMU - Southern Miss
NCAAFConverter : Must be custom:
Looks like this Mustang is wrapped up in gold. I'll take Southern Miss, thank you very much.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Week 6 - NCAAFConverter says....
NCAAFConverter has been acting up today but I finally cleared the jam and retrieved the whole report(who loaded construction paper in the Converter anyhow? Must have been the kids). Here are my picks:
1. Oklahoma v. Texas (Texas worth four points)
NCAAFConverter : Don't call the ETrade baby mean, call him what he is - he's real, and he's calling it OKLAHOMA
.
. Even though OU's marching band will be working overtime on a new verse to BOOMER SOONER that'll advocate for the addition of the Tulane University Green Wave to the Big 12, OU will have no problem with those pesky 'horns.
2. Miami v. Virginia Tech (Miami worth three points)
NCAAFConverter : Opportunist.
That's right, with the Hokies utterly distracted by constant whiny covert communications from the Big East to please come home, we miss you so much; with half the VT coaching staff and lawyers preoccupied by looking for copies of that old restraining order; the 'canes are sure not to miss this opportunity to pluck one out of the nest (the Hokie is a bird, or so says the internet). I'll take MIAMI and the bonus point, thank you very much.
3. Auburn v. Arkansas (Auburn worth four points)
NCAAFConverter : Tiger Razor.
It's a little hard to see what's meant by the Converter's output, but from what I can tell, this classsic product (no safety razor here!) is just like last week's instant classic Third Annual Southwest Classic (42-38 WPS!!!). And we know who won that one: ARKANSAS. So you can keep your bonus points, thank you very much.
4. Georgia v. Tennessee
NCAAFConverter : Volunteer Bulldog Rescue Society.
Now this is not a close one - who can call the kind volunteers running a Saturday afternoon bulldog rescue awareness event at Scranberry Scoop the alpha dogs? They are far too nice for that. Thererfore, I'll take UGA. But only for the game (he may not be housebroken yet).
5. Texas A&M v. Texas Tech (Tech worth three points)
NCAAFConverter : timeless beauty?
If this is the case, we sure know that TEXAS TECH will be your winner, since A&M's second half play of late has been anything but a thing of beauty; as we all know, ________________ [opponent name here] owns the second half in Texas A&M games these days. Even though the Texas Tech Board of Regents will be working throughout the game on a back-room deal to invite the Tulane University Green Wave to join the Big 12; the distraction will not affect play. I'll take the bonus point, thank you very much.
1. Oklahoma v. Texas (Texas worth four points)
NCAAFConverter : Don't call the ETrade baby mean, call him what he is - he's real, and he's calling it OKLAHOMA
.
. Even though OU's marching band will be working overtime on a new verse to BOOMER SOONER that'll advocate for the addition of the Tulane University Green Wave to the Big 12, OU will have no problem with those pesky 'horns.2. Miami v. Virginia Tech (Miami worth three points)
NCAAFConverter : Opportunist.
That's right, with the Hokies utterly distracted by constant whiny covert communications from the Big East to please come home, we miss you so much; with half the VT coaching staff and lawyers preoccupied by looking for copies of that old restraining order; the 'canes are sure not to miss this opportunity to pluck one out of the nest (the Hokie is a bird, or so says the internet). I'll take MIAMI and the bonus point, thank you very much.3. Auburn v. Arkansas (Auburn worth four points)
NCAAFConverter : Tiger Razor.
It's a little hard to see what's meant by the Converter's output, but from what I can tell, this classsic product (no safety razor here!) is just like last week's instant classic Third Annual Southwest Classic (42-38 WPS!!!). And we know who won that one: ARKANSAS. So you can keep your bonus points, thank you very much.
4. Georgia v. Tennessee
NCAAFConverter : Volunteer Bulldog Rescue Society.
Now this is not a close one - who can call the kind volunteers running a Saturday afternoon bulldog rescue awareness event at Scranberry Scoop the alpha dogs? They are far too nice for that. Thererfore, I'll take UGA. But only for the game (he may not be housebroken yet).5. Texas A&M v. Texas Tech (Tech worth three points)
NCAAFConverter : timeless beauty?
If this is the case, we sure know that TEXAS TECH will be your winner, since A&M's second half play of late has been anything but a thing of beauty; as we all know, ________________ [opponent name here] owns the second half in Texas A&M games these days. Even though the Texas Tech Board of Regents will be working throughout the game on a back-room deal to invite the Tulane University Green Wave to join the Big 12; the distraction will not affect play. I'll take the bonus point, thank you very much.
Week 5 - NCAAFConverter says....
NCAAFConverter was turned off this morning while I worked on evicting a few non-payment types (a/k/a rent dodgers) from a trailer park. But here were my humble picks, selected without help of my nifty machine (which is probably a good thing; the Converter gave no guidance on OSU-TAMU or Arkie-Bama, and it went 1 for 3 on the rest (how could "Indian in Death Valley" have missed the mark??), which I did turn in on time.
1. Arkansas - Texas A&M
I'll take Arkansas. We have tickets to the game so if we're trailing late, I may have my wife hop the rail and run around on the field wrapped in nothing but an Arkansas Razorbacks beach towel from WalMart; maybe that'll spark the team.
2. Michigan State - Ohio State
I'll take Michigan State.
3. Clemson - Virginia Tech
Having learned my lesson twice in a row, I'll take Clemson. I may not be an early adapter but I'm no dummy. By the way, you know the story about how Clemson got its name. It used to be the University of Clem, but the Regents thought the name was too humble so they conducted an on-campus contest many years ago to rebrand the school. "Clemson" was the winning entry, and not just because the name sounds much better, but because the letters actually stood for some of the lofty goals the school set for itself and its alumni (spirit, honor, knowledge).
4. Alabama - Florida
I'll take Alabama. The Tide will drop at least one game this year, but this is not the one.
5. Nebraska - Wisconsin (Nebraska worth four points)
I have to go with the Cornhuskers, especially since you have all those shiny bonus points hung on them. Nebraska has a lot to play for and they may very well play beyond their normal human abilities in unexplicable fashion. This not to say they got greatness in them (greatness apparently dwells only in Clemson at the moment) but for tomorrow's game, I'm not betting against them.
1. Arkansas - Texas A&M
I'll take Arkansas. We have tickets to the game so if we're trailing late, I may have my wife hop the rail and run around on the field wrapped in nothing but an Arkansas Razorbacks beach towel from WalMart; maybe that'll spark the team.
2. Michigan State - Ohio State
I'll take Michigan State.
3. Clemson - Virginia Tech
Having learned my lesson twice in a row, I'll take Clemson. I may not be an early adapter but I'm no dummy. By the way, you know the story about how Clemson got its name. It used to be the University of Clem, but the Regents thought the name was too humble so they conducted an on-campus contest many years ago to rebrand the school. "Clemson" was the winning entry, and not just because the name sounds much better, but because the letters actually stood for some of the lofty goals the school set for itself and its alumni (spirit, honor, knowledge).
4. Alabama - Florida
I'll take Alabama. The Tide will drop at least one game this year, but this is not the one.
5. Nebraska - Wisconsin (Nebraska worth four points)
I have to go with the Cornhuskers, especially since you have all those shiny bonus points hung on them. Nebraska has a lot to play for and they may very well play beyond their normal human abilities in unexplicable fashion. This not to say they got greatness in them (greatness apparently dwells only in Clemson at the moment) but for tomorrow's game, I'm not betting against them.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Week 4 - NCAAFConverter says...
After last week's 3-2 outing, I thought NCAAFConverter was running as well as could be expected. Looking back to last week's picks, I realized I was the one who picked Auburn over Clemson after reviewing all the catfight gibberish the Converter spat out. However, the similarities between those results and the gibberish Dabo Sweeny was slinging after the game (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B72qHHdCeMY) are certainly in line with each other. The Converter's only bust was its pick of Florida State and I think that time may someday tell that the pick was not exactly wrong, only premature, before its time.
So I should have left well enough alone and not tinkered with NCAAFConverter, but I did not listen to my own advice and I tinkered with the machine. Now, I am sad to report, it seems to be running rough. For example, to test it out, I ran the Ole Miss-Georgia game through the machine and no matter how I mash the buttons, both teams come out at the end of the game with a 1-3 record. Go figure.
So I'm not really sure how this week's picks are going to turn out; let's get NCAAFConverter up to cruising speed and see what pops out:
1. Oklahoma State - Texas A&M
NCAAFConverter : Sidekick battle:
I think the powers that be over at A&M have failed to appreciate how much violence their move to the SEC will do in the sidekick universe (http://www.listafterlist.com/tabid/57/listid/11289/Personalities/Famous+Sidekicks.aspx). Did Tattoo ever abandon Fantasy Island for another? Did Sancho Panza ever change conferences on Don Quixote? But maybe the A&M Board of Regents realizes all too well that its overlord UT will always be hoggish at the trough; sometimes you just can't take it any more and you move on. So what do you think, Pistol Pete? Will you move out from under the shadow of OU as well? Since the Converter's guidance is muddled here, so I'm going with my gut, and respect for A&M, I'll take the AGGIES, thank you very much.
2. Arkansas - Alabama (Arkansas worth four points)
NCAAFConverter : HogTide. And the image says it all:
Seriously, there's no way I can pull for Alabama on this one; I'd rather take the loss than pick a non-Hog winner here. So I'll take ARKANSAS and the bonus points, thank you very much.
3. Florida State - Clemson
NCAAFConverter : An Indian in Death Valley:
The conversion is spot on (great job, Converter!) but the message is somewhat mixed. After consulting the programmer's guide, I think the prediction is that a legendary brand triumphs in the desert. Too bad Dabo Swinney's been wasting time this week trying to trademark Clemson's new slogan ("We got greatness in us!"); that feeling of greatness will turn to indigestion when the Seminoles ride victorious out of Death Valley after the game. So I'll take FSU, thank you very much.
4. LSU - West Virginia (WVa worth three points)
NCAAFConverter : 7th (Bengal) Mountain Battery of the Indian Army taking on Kyber Pass Afridis. Now I'll be honest, I sure did not see this one coming. I expected images of Sigmund & Roy-sized Bengal Tigers chasing down and devouring moccasin-clad Davey Crockett-types by the dozen. Instead, the Converter has led me to the border area between Afghanistan and Pakistan and bands of mountain men who have repeatedly defeated empires over the centuries. NCAAFConverter is clearly telling us that the Mountaineers have this one, so I'll go against my gut and take WEST VIRGINIA and the bonus point, thank you very much.
5. USC - Arizona State
NCAAFConverter : Trojan virus infects Sun Microsystems.
I have to be honest here; I think NCAAFConverter is not firing on all cylinders on this one. Sun Microsystems as an analog for the Sun Devils? The Converter promptly went into safety shutdown mode after generating this image; it's probably spooked from the mere thought of what a virus would do to its vital systems. So I'm on my own here, no way I'll pull for Kiffy's Trojans, I'll take ASU, thank you very much.
So I should have left well enough alone and not tinkered with NCAAFConverter, but I did not listen to my own advice and I tinkered with the machine. Now, I am sad to report, it seems to be running rough. For example, to test it out, I ran the Ole Miss-Georgia game through the machine and no matter how I mash the buttons, both teams come out at the end of the game with a 1-3 record. Go figure.
So I'm not really sure how this week's picks are going to turn out; let's get NCAAFConverter up to cruising speed and see what pops out:
1. Oklahoma State - Texas A&M
NCAAFConverter : Sidekick battle:
I think the powers that be over at A&M have failed to appreciate how much violence their move to the SEC will do in the sidekick universe (http://www.listafterlist.com/tabid/57/listid/11289/Personalities/Famous+Sidekicks.aspx). Did Tattoo ever abandon Fantasy Island for another? Did Sancho Panza ever change conferences on Don Quixote? But maybe the A&M Board of Regents realizes all too well that its overlord UT will always be hoggish at the trough; sometimes you just can't take it any more and you move on. So what do you think, Pistol Pete? Will you move out from under the shadow of OU as well? Since the Converter's guidance is muddled here, so I'm going with my gut, and respect for A&M, I'll take the AGGIES, thank you very much.
2. Arkansas - Alabama (Arkansas worth four points)
NCAAFConverter : HogTide. And the image says it all:
Seriously, there's no way I can pull for Alabama on this one; I'd rather take the loss than pick a non-Hog winner here. So I'll take ARKANSAS and the bonus points, thank you very much.
3. Florida State - Clemson
NCAAFConverter : An Indian in Death Valley:
The conversion is spot on (great job, Converter!) but the message is somewhat mixed. After consulting the programmer's guide, I think the prediction is that a legendary brand triumphs in the desert. Too bad Dabo Swinney's been wasting time this week trying to trademark Clemson's new slogan ("We got greatness in us!"); that feeling of greatness will turn to indigestion when the Seminoles ride victorious out of Death Valley after the game. So I'll take FSU, thank you very much.
4. LSU - West Virginia (WVa worth three points)
NCAAFConverter : 7th (Bengal) Mountain Battery of the Indian Army taking on Kyber Pass Afridis. Now I'll be honest, I sure did not see this one coming. I expected images of Sigmund & Roy-sized Bengal Tigers chasing down and devouring moccasin-clad Davey Crockett-types by the dozen. Instead, the Converter has led me to the border area between Afghanistan and Pakistan and bands of mountain men who have repeatedly defeated empires over the centuries. NCAAFConverter is clearly telling us that the Mountaineers have this one, so I'll go against my gut and take WEST VIRGINIA and the bonus point, thank you very much.
5. USC - Arizona State
NCAAFConverter : Trojan virus infects Sun Microsystems.
I have to be honest here; I think NCAAFConverter is not firing on all cylinders on this one. Sun Microsystems as an analog for the Sun Devils? The Converter promptly went into safety shutdown mode after generating this image; it's probably spooked from the mere thought of what a virus would do to its vital systems. So I'm on my own here, no way I'll pull for Kiffy's Trojans, I'll take ASU, thank you very much.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Week 1, NCAAFConverter Says....
More backfilled content!
I determined this week's picks by running the games through my new custom app NCAAFConverter, which converts and translates any given matchup to an equivalent relationship in a wholly unrelated field. I'm still working a few bugs out of the system but here is what NCAAFConverter has come up with so far:
1. South Florida - Notre Dame (USF worth four points)
NCAAFConverter : Leprechaun riding mechanical bull, and we all know how that will end (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DT07ZBQx3aw).
So I'll take South Florida and the bonus points, thank you very much.
(My only concern here is that NCAAFConverter did yield an alternative outcome : Leprechaun slamming Red Bull, and if this second conversion is the right one, then my pick is DOOMED.)
2. BYU - Ole Miss
NCAAFConverter : Black Bear versus cougar! And we all know how that will end (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rW6U9mXvh8).
So in the interest of seeing if my faith in NCAACFConverter is well placed, I'll go against my gut and take Ole Miss, thank you very much.
(Actually, I was too impatient to wait for the video to load so I just scanned the comments; this one is representative: "Black bear uses swipe! But it missed! Cougar uses slash! But it's not very affective. Cougar flees! Black bear gained 32 exp.")
(Interestingly, on this one, NCAAFConverter yield two alternative outcomes, : Col. Reb versus cougar, and : shark versus cougar, so apparently my Ole Miss pick is solely attributable to UM's choice of a stupid black bear as its new, non-racist mascot.)
3. Oregon - LSU
NCAAFConverter : 555 South Eugene is WINNING! in Baton Rouge! You know you are ready to make an offer (http://www.trulia.com/property/3032534907-555-S-Eugene-St-Baton-Rouge-LA-70806) so act now!
So I'll take Oregon, thank you very much.
(NCAAFConverter really had a hard time with this one; it kept substituting the Auburn Tiger for LSU's Bengal Tiger, yielding a consistent Tiger win but only so long as the Tiger squad was adequately compensated.)
4. Boise State - Georgia
NCAAFConverter : Buttercup cruising Manhattan in a sweet '73 Ford Bronco. Actually, I don't know how this one will end (http://manonthemove.com/2009/10/29/1973-ford-bronco-west-20th-street-nyc/).
I'm sorry, I hate to go against an SEC team, but with a name like Buttercup, and taking into account the possible infallibility of NCAFConverter, I have to go with the (sweet) Bronco; so I'll take Boise State, thank you very much.
(P.S., Mark Richt, don't feel bad when UGA VII (?) terminates your contact by peeing on it at the end of this season; you are a quality coach and you will find there's a bright future ahead of you in the Big East or ACC.)
5. Miami - Maryland
NCAAFConverter : Diamonback terrapins released into hurricane-ravaged salt marsh, and we all know how that will end (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2n72x6jdlQ)(SARCASM). Actually, I'm sorry, maybe I launched NCAAFConverter too early because I have no clue what this means. Is this terrapin over hurricane because the reintroduction of these baby turtles into the marsh shows the resiliency of the species? Or is the main point that the hurricane slaughtered so many turtles in this marsh that now scientists are having to bring them in via bucket brigade?
So I am going my gut on this one, I'll take Maryland and the bonus point, thank you very much.
I determined this week's picks by running the games through my new custom app NCAAFConverter, which converts and translates any given matchup to an equivalent relationship in a wholly unrelated field. I'm still working a few bugs out of the system but here is what NCAAFConverter has come up with so far:
1. South Florida - Notre Dame (USF worth four points)
NCAAFConverter : Leprechaun riding mechanical bull, and we all know how that will end (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DT07ZBQx3aw).
So I'll take South Florida and the bonus points, thank you very much.
(My only concern here is that NCAAFConverter did yield an alternative outcome : Leprechaun slamming Red Bull, and if this second conversion is the right one, then my pick is DOOMED.)
2. BYU - Ole Miss
NCAAFConverter : Black Bear versus cougar! And we all know how that will end (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rW6U9mXvh8).
So in the interest of seeing if my faith in NCAACFConverter is well placed, I'll go against my gut and take Ole Miss, thank you very much.
(Actually, I was too impatient to wait for the video to load so I just scanned the comments; this one is representative: "Black bear uses swipe! But it missed! Cougar uses slash! But it's not very affective. Cougar flees! Black bear gained 32 exp.")
(Interestingly, on this one, NCAAFConverter yield two alternative outcomes, : Col. Reb versus cougar, and : shark versus cougar, so apparently my Ole Miss pick is solely attributable to UM's choice of a stupid black bear as its new, non-racist mascot.)
3. Oregon - LSU
NCAAFConverter : 555 South Eugene is WINNING! in Baton Rouge! You know you are ready to make an offer (http://www.trulia.com/property/3032534907-555-S-Eugene-St-Baton-Rouge-LA-70806) so act now!
So I'll take Oregon, thank you very much.
(NCAAFConverter really had a hard time with this one; it kept substituting the Auburn Tiger for LSU's Bengal Tiger, yielding a consistent Tiger win but only so long as the Tiger squad was adequately compensated.)
4. Boise State - Georgia
NCAAFConverter : Buttercup cruising Manhattan in a sweet '73 Ford Bronco. Actually, I don't know how this one will end (http://manonthemove.com/2009/10/29/1973-ford-bronco-west-20th-street-nyc/).
I'm sorry, I hate to go against an SEC team, but with a name like Buttercup, and taking into account the possible infallibility of NCAFConverter, I have to go with the (sweet) Bronco; so I'll take Boise State, thank you very much.
(P.S., Mark Richt, don't feel bad when UGA VII (?) terminates your contact by peeing on it at the end of this season; you are a quality coach and you will find there's a bright future ahead of you in the Big East or ACC.)
5. Miami - Maryland
NCAAFConverter : Diamonback terrapins released into hurricane-ravaged salt marsh, and we all know how that will end (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2n72x6jdlQ)(SARCASM). Actually, I'm sorry, maybe I launched NCAAFConverter too early because I have no clue what this means. Is this terrapin over hurricane because the reintroduction of these baby turtles into the marsh shows the resiliency of the species? Or is the main point that the hurricane slaughtered so many turtles in this marsh that now scientists are having to bring them in via bucket brigade?
So I am going my gut on this one, I'll take Maryland and the bonus point, thank you very much.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Week 3, NCAAFConverter says...
Well, this is not the week for a Thursday night deadline; my day does not look good. Thankfully, after last week's outing, NCAAFConverter seems to be working well; the only muffed call was "lions over elephant" (what a disaster). I picked against the Converter on the UT-BYU game, should have gone with the machine and the Cougar Cattle Call. And on the Notre Dame game, Converter's "Leprechaun Crackhead Pot of Gold" was, well, pure gold.
Since time is short, I'm going to dial NCAAFConverter down to "images", let's see what comes up:
1. LSU - Mississippi State
NCAAFConverter : Who doesn't love Nana
. This adorable bulldog adopted a baby tiger at the Shirotori Zoo in Kagawa prefecture; the tiger cub was rejected by its mother. I for one am not surprised. The message here is loud and clear - State is just too kind and thoughtful to have that killer, win-at-all-costs attitude, and once again, Les Miles finds a way to win games in a way that perplexes and distresses the fan base. I'll take LSU, thank you very much.
NCAAFConverter : Who doesn't love Nana
For Les Miles:
Here's how to bring Texas A&M into the SEC while still keeping the total number of programs at 12 - Merge A&M with MSU, relocate the campus to Alexandria (http://friendsoftheprogram.net/2011/08/11/a-sound-business-model-for-texas-ams-move-to-the-sec/ ). How's that for a Conversion!
2. Auburn - Clemson
NCAAFConverter : [what else] catfight! 
Who would have thought the Converter had a vast library of catfight images? Amazing. Only problem is, the Converter is having a great deal of difficulty distinguishing between the two Tiger programs. Both are Southern schools, not the respective state's flagship program, located in remote locations. What do to? I'm on my own again, and while Auburn's unlikely string of close game victories is surely about to end, Clemson's proven, consistent ability to underperform is stronger here, so I'll take AUBURN, thank you very much.
3. Michigan State - Notre Dame
NCAAFConverter : a math sentence - 300 Spartans would be destroyed by 11 drunk Irishmen. 
. Can't argue with that. I'll take NOTRE DAME this week, thank you very much; your bonus point will go unused.
4. Ohio State - Miami
4. Ohio State - Miami
NCAAFConverter : Buckeye prepares terminals for Hurricane Irene (http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/08/26/pipeline-operaions-buckeye-idUSL4E7JQ3I220110826 ; the Converter is sorry for the lack of an image). The Converter can scarcely believe that these two programs are playing each other, let alone to see them in the pool this week. What's the deal does the winner of this game get the UNC-USC winner? Better go with the Converter on this one, I'll take MIAMI, thank you very much.
5. Oklahoma - Florida State
NCAAFConverter says : Better circle the wagons. The Converter consistently picks images of this guy
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