Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #5

Coming off a moderately less disappointing 3-2 week, on the heels of a horrendous 1-4, The Converter's feeling pretty good these days. The good kind of good, almost feeling like 4-0 good but hey, 3-1 isn't bad, especially after what is arguably a strong showing, almost a moral victory, a first foray in decades to the East Coast, against Rutgers, RUTGERS (!), which sounds like a college football powerhouse back in the days when they played in leather helmets. Yeah, that's how NCAAFConverter is feeling today, ready to go, ready for an SEC-caliber match-up against another 3-1 opponent. So let's go, let's get on to Week 5.

1.  LSU - Georgia (Georgia by 3).

     NCAAFConverter : Only fun for one.

 

You'd be interested to know how many pictures there are on the Internet of tiger cubs playfully playing with bulldogs (although strangely, perhaps, they are almost always French bulldogs, not the English variety). What heartwarming stories, these animal friendships reaching across the species boundary. But somehow, to me at least, it always seems as if one of the playmates enjoys the romp slightly less than the other. And that's how The Converter's calling it this week - Mark Richt is undeservedly under back under the coaching heat lamp as LSU pulls off the win.

2.  Oklahoma - Notre Dame (Oklahoma by 3).
     NCAAFConverter : Sooner apparel store FAIL.

 

I was certainly leaning toward The Figthing Irish for the win until The Converter retrieved this gem from an www.ou.edu online store. The appropriate question, to the state of Oklahoma (even to OSU?), is WTF? You would let your campus store sell this? Apparel FAIL in Norman; it'll be ND for the win.

3.  Texas A&M - Arkansas (no line; wild card points in effect).
     NCAAFConverter : Did someone say bacon?

I know, The Mayor of Poolsville has since powered through the cowardice of Vegas, set the line at 14 and elected to award a quarter-dozen bonus points for an Arkie win. And you know what? I think the Hog there looks pretty much at home next to The 12th Man's cute dog. The Converter will take the U of A for the upset win of the season.

4.  Wisconsin - Ohio State (7 point underbrock Wiscy worth a bonus point).
     NCAAFConverter : 40% off any one regular price item at Michaels?

If you are crafty in the ways of The Converter, you recognize a picture of a badger brush in a buckye burl when you see one. And while I see what I am seeing, I don't understand it any more than you do. That's why it's clear that The Converter's calling for a UW win. I will take that bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville.

5.  USC - Arizona State (5 point underwarrior USC worth a bonus point).
     NCAAFConverter : Advantage trident.

 

Hands down, NCAAFConverter's level of difficulty with this match-up was off the charts. Search for "Trojan-devil" images? "Greek-devil"?  how about "Trojan-trident" - and there you have it - don't end up on the business end of a trident, even if you are a Greek warrior. ASU for the win (keep your bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville!). 
 
#5-0.

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #4

WORST WEEK IN THE HISTORY OF NCAAFCONVERTER! I'd rather go 1-4 every week than re-pick crappy matchups such as these.

1.  North Carolina - Georgia Tech (6 point underdog UNC worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter :  Ramblin Wreck goes off-road.

Pavement not needed. Georgia Tech for the win.

2.  Utah State - USC (6 point underdog Utah State worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Trojan bull.

 Who even knew the Aggies had a bull as their mascot? Irregardless, it's USC for the win.

3.  Michigan State - Notre Dame (6 point underdog Michigan State worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Greece races Ireland for the lead in the Euro crisis.

A made up encounter for an ancient made up encounter. Advantage SPARTY; Michigan State for the win.

4.  Arizona State - Stanford (7 point underdog Arizona State worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Devil bird.

 

It is what it is; there is a three-horned cardinal bird somewhere out there in the southwestern desert, apparently drinking a vodka tonic out of a very fru fru glass. The Converter calls STANFORD for the win.

5.  Kansas State - Texas (6 point underdog Kansas State worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : Follow me! Oh, wait, and SNAP! You're in a pen! 

Snappy Wildcat is a bitch taunting Bevo like this. Maybe it's because even a struggling KSU owns Austin. KSU for the win! (Bonus predictive trivia - will Texas be favored to win in each of its losses this year? All signs point to YES!)

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #3

In the NCAAFConverter's defense, there can be no shame in going 2-3 or even 1-4 this week; I should have checked The Converter's vital fluids before the season began. I didn't pop the hood until just yesterday and what do you know; the bombast tank was bone-dry. Ordinarily, it takes at least a week to repressurize the bombast system; shame on me for topping it off and firing it up like it was a rental (this won;t be good for the long term life of the machine).

1.  TCU - Texas Tech (TCU by 3)
     NCAAFConverter : Armageddon on the high plains

Sadly, I was off gathering lint at kickoff: I sent in my weekly picks sometime in the first half, prior to carefully studying the preliminary results from The Converter (I "officially" picked TCU). But even a casual glance at the ticker tape would have told me The Converter knew the fix was in for Texas Tech. (As an aside, last winter, I had the privilege of touching down in Lubbock for the first time ever on a one-stop flight to Las Vegas. All I ever saw from the window of my SWA 737 was a trailer park connected to the airport by a dusty road, with an interstate headed off to the north, presumably to whatever passes for civilization in this godforsaken part of the world. Maybe that WAS Lubbock?)

2.  UCLA - Nebraska (Nebraska by 4)
     NCAAFConverter : Bear Corn?

Frank admission - The Converter pulled this image from the archives; the Mayor of Poolsville must have picked this match-up in a prior year. How can that be, can Nebraska-UCLA be a compelling match-up from year to year? All that can be said is "bear corn". NEBRASKA for the win.

3.  Alabama - Texas A&M (7 point underdog TAMU worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : surf's up

 I get it, NCAAFConverter; that's a collie dog, the water represents a tide or something, whatever, whatever! TAMU for the win in The Game of the Century (2013 Edition), and I will gladly take that bonus point, O Mayor of Poolsville.

4.  Ole Miss - Texas (Texas by 3)
     NCAAFConverter :  cattle rustler

It is easier to believe that Ole Miss's mascot is a black bear than it is to believe UT will win this game against a Hug Freeze-led team of heroes. UM for the win.

5.  Wisconsin - Arizona State (5 point underdog Wiscy worth a bonus point)
     NCAAFConverter : badger smackdown

 

 NCAAFConverter has shut down for the night; as best I can tell, it's WISCONSIN for the win.

Poolsville Picks 2013, Week #2

Over at Poolsville, NCAAFConverter's Week 1 performance was an underwhelming 3-2 (6 points), which is a true disappointment when one considers that for the entire off-season, The Converter subsisted on a strict and carefully calibrated diet of nothing but boiled peanuts and Southern Comfort (but come to think of it, this "power diet" was in fact designed by The Converter itself, which brings The Converter's 2013 prospects somewhat into question. But who am I to second guess the genius of the machine? For the last 30 minutes, lights have been going off and the beeping has risen an octave; let's see if NCAAFConverter finds redemption in Week 2.   

1.   Florida - Miami (UF is favored to win The Florida Cup by 3)
      NCAAFConverter : Gators make the most of hurricane.

While the Hurricanes appear to be headed back to prominence in college football, they're not quite there yet, and in the meantime, the Gators take advantage of opportunity and strut around like they own the place. FLORIDA for the win.

2.   South Carolina - Georgia (UGA favored by 3)
      NCAAFConverter : Mark Richt has slept like a baby all week.

Coming off a loss to Clemson, USC's country cousin from the hills, you would think that Richt has the weight of the world on his shoulders. But you would be wrong. He's been on the coach's hot seat for far too long to feel the heat any more; Richt will just do what he does best, put his head down, work hard, and WIN*. I'm glad The Converter overrode its preliminary pick ("Brown Chicken") and ended up with GEORGIA for the win.
* Most, but not all, of the time.
3.   Texas - BYU (7 point underdog Cougars worth a lousy bonus point).
      NCAAFConverter : Equally ridiculous.

That's right, for the second week in a row, The Converter calls it even odds (or maybe they'll go for the tie? What is this, a soccer pick?). But if The Converter's preliminary pick ("Brown Cow") is of any assistance, then I'll have to go with TEXAS for the win. Enjoy the cold comfort of a close victory over BYU, all you Mack Brown haters*.
* And your hate will find firmer footing later in the season.

4.   Arkansas State - Auburn (outmatched 12 point underdog A-State worth two bonus points)
      NCAAFConverter : Wolf treats.

Coming off two consecutive seasons with SEC caliber coaching, A-State may have hit the jackpot three times in a row with the Bryan Harsin hire, but in the meantime, The Falconer Gus Malzahn stands ready to exploit the weaknesses of the very players he recruited but a year ago. ASU may be a crown jewel of The Sunbelt and the Mid-South but tomorrow, The Converter sees nothing but talons in the Red Wolves' immediate future. AUBURN for the win.

5.   Notre Dame - Michigan (Michigan by 4)
      NCAAFConverter : Your move, Blue.

This game will be an epic battle, one for the ages, never before seen in the comprehensive history of college football. To the casual observer, this game appears to be another toss-up. But while gorging on those boiled peanuts and fine southern spirits, The Converter busied itself playing correspondence chess with a Russian supercomputer deep in the heart of Vladimir Putin's Kremlin. Four moves in and The Converter can already see the endgame - GO BLUE for the win.